Yeah, we still do it the old-fashioned way. Boxes arrive, we crack them open with a sense of both trepidation and excitement, and if the pages are not upside-down or smeared with ink blobs or otherwise wonkified, we woot and do head butts, then make an offer of Laffy Taffy to our office Lit Gods shrine (little known fact: the LGs love to masticate). Then we get down to business—stuffing envelopes, stamping them Media Mail, slapping on labels, tucking in the letter to our valued (oh so valued!) subscribers, and taping shut the whole shebang. Today’s comedy was provided by Becky Adnot-Haynes, who spilled the (giant) container of Laffy Taffy onto our gross office carpet (worry not—the gods will punish her), sustained a paper cut within the first five mailing minutes, and became so entangled in shipping tape that scissors-wielding editorial warrior Matt O’Keefe had to come to her rescue. There was also a wonton soup incident on her desk, but it is too tragic to detail here (multiple wontons were lost). All in a day’s sacrifice, of course, to bring wildly crafted and meaningful wordage to our devoted readership.
We leave you with some (super-lame) Laffy Taffy jokes.
Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
Q: Where does the general put his armies?
A: In his sleevies!
Q: When does it rain money?
A: When there is change in the weather.
Q: What are the strongest days of the week?
A: Saturday and Sunday. Every other day is a weekday.
Q: What did the finger say to the thumb?
A: I’m in glove with you.
Q: Why was the tomato blushing?
A: Because she saw the salad dressing!
Q: Why didn’t the teddy bear finish his supper?
A: Because he was already stuffed.
