We’re so excited about our new online submissions system that we can’t stop celebrating. Not with alcohol—that’s not our style—but with lots and lots of sugar. We’ve consumed rafts of Laffy Taffy, Bottle Caps, and those hard candies that resemble (sort of) strawberries, and we’ve taken to singing the Willy Wonka soundtrack and miming exaggerated falls into a turbulent chocolate river.

Lisa Ampleman has built a small popsicle-stick structure in one corner of the office that she refers to as her Shrine to Skittles, and Becky Adnot-Haynes is threatening to order a gross of those fluffy orange fake peanuts. Obviously a big distraction is in order so that we are not drawn still deeper into the cavity-filled maw of the god of sucrose. To bring us back from the brink, we have devised a new Game of the Month! Due to the new online submission system, we updated our guidelines, and we want to hear YOUR suggestions for appropriate submission guidelines for a lit mag. What do you think we should be asking for? “Desperately seeking epic poems about sea crustaceans”? “Only your best short-shorts about girls in short-shorts”? “Please affix three paper clips on each side of your manuscript to prevent unseemly paper flappage”?

The composer of the best guidelines submitted by next Monday, October 17, will receive a Cincinnati Review–branded thermos or slingpack (which we’ll send through the U.S. Postal Service and not through the inter-webs). To enter, simply post your comments on the blog by clicking the post title above. Happy submitting!