(From the series How to Celebrate National Days: Instructions for Enjoying Pseudoholidays)
June 1, 2018
Think back to when you were a kid and you’d give the classroom globe a spin, stop it with your fingertip, and vow to move to whatever location you landed on. Recall how sometimes you’d hit the ocean and have to spin again. Recall that sometimes you’d hit the ocean twice in a row, and your classmates would chant that your destiny was to die alone at sea. “Die at sea! Die at sea!” they’d chant, and you’d all have a good laugh.
Today, do that, but with people.
Pull out your phone, give your contact list a whirl, and drop your thumb on a random entry. Initiate a correspondence over text with your selected contact. Escalate the frequency and intensity of your communication over the course of the day. Forge a genuine emotional connection. Meet for coffee. Fall in love. Get married. Enjoy a happy life together.
If your first contact does not respond, try another. If neither contact responds, die alone at sea.
For more sections of this fabulous series by Marie Kare or other great fiction in issue 15.1, order now in our online store. Digital copies are only $5!
